I have been extremely busy at work.. and i am pretty amazed that i had time to blog.. that tells the other times which i said i was busy and all.. it most prolly not true.. i was just lazy.
But the pressure at work is replicating faster and i actually have to take it day by day. For the past 2 days... the stress was really quite up optimum. Things was not in place and meetings after meetings and after meetings discussion. The trail never ended. The amount of exhaustion was really setting in.
Good that my father doesnt complaint about the fact he is eating alone at times .. because shawn is working till late and pam seldom makes the initiative to come home earlier... my guilt still sets in. Not to forget the amount of times he repeats the same info to me of the labrador puppy my aunty wants to give away.. :( :( :( Dad asked me to go check it out.. but i didnt want to because i knew if i go see it.. i'd want it...... :(... i really do.. Other times, dad has been alright.. he nags occassionally... just like mom.
That apart.. constant arguements i have with mom online wasnt helping.. she was online with me in the middle of one of my meetings asking me of her visa to the states. Yes, she will be flying to NY sometime end of this week. I think she hasnt have much to do in England and decided to go NY look for my god brother.
In general, my mom and dad dont really get along anymore i guess... well ... more to mom.. cos dad doesnt share with us his problems... or maybe he tries to keep it simple. But she in the other hand shares alot of details with us... Could be menopause, i dont know.
Throughout, i think it has been say... 5 years.. that it has been like this.. or even more.. but it was then more significant.. Thereafter.. there was constant stuff which surfaced... not exactly the perfect marriage my parents had that i have in mind till 5 years back... Or maybe the demands in life is just so different. It is very human for everyone to be like that i guess... what you have will always not be enough.
So then i started to look at life in a different angle... no simple weddings, no fairytale prince, no naive thoughts of trust & respect .. none of it ever existed.. it all rests in the heart till the very dark hour (could be maybe 30 years later) and it will explode.. well for younger generations, it only takes 55 hours to realise that.
So i thought it'd be good that marriage by itself or tying the knot should be made on a contractual basis. Since prenuptials are already in.... my as well right? We now practice equal rights.. the only place that doesnt practice this is most prolly somewhere at the end of the world.
Those love dovey shit.... kissing in the park.. holding hands in the mall.... arms on shoulders in the cinema...its all pure bullshit. it's just lust. period.
So let's just say you get married, sign a bloody contract for 10 years... or well.. 5 years.. and renew it like how we renew driving license. That will save the whole world from shit which is honestly not necessary. maybe. i dont know. By luck, it will most prolly create an awareness of what marriage is all about and both sides will take better consideration and appreciate marriage even more.
Now that i finished my emo-ness... Yesterday no electricity till almost 1sumthing am.... NABEH... not a good start for the weekend. Besides that, i just got my schedule in SG...also, not a good one.. will be jammed pack. On a different note.. shawn left the iron on in the house till 8 pm.. lucky the house didnt burn down.. if not i wouldnt be writting now.
ugh. triple sieness...
But the pressure at work is replicating faster and i actually have to take it day by day. For the past 2 days... the stress was really quite up optimum. Things was not in place and meetings after meetings and after meetings discussion. The trail never ended. The amount of exhaustion was really setting in.
Good that my father doesnt complaint about the fact he is eating alone at times .. because shawn is working till late and pam seldom makes the initiative to come home earlier... my guilt still sets in. Not to forget the amount of times he repeats the same info to me of the labrador puppy my aunty wants to give away.. :( :( :( Dad asked me to go check it out.. but i didnt want to because i knew if i go see it.. i'd want it...... :(... i really do.. Other times, dad has been alright.. he nags occassionally... just like mom.
That apart.. constant arguements i have with mom online wasnt helping.. she was online with me in the middle of one of my meetings asking me of her visa to the states. Yes, she will be flying to NY sometime end of this week. I think she hasnt have much to do in England and decided to go NY look for my god brother.
In general, my mom and dad dont really get along anymore i guess... well ... more to mom.. cos dad doesnt share with us his problems... or maybe he tries to keep it simple. But she in the other hand shares alot of details with us... Could be menopause, i dont know.
Throughout, i think it has been say... 5 years.. that it has been like this.. or even more.. but it was then more significant.. Thereafter.. there was constant stuff which surfaced... not exactly the perfect marriage my parents had that i have in mind till 5 years back... Or maybe the demands in life is just so different. It is very human for everyone to be like that i guess... what you have will always not be enough.
So then i started to look at life in a different angle... no simple weddings, no fairytale prince, no naive thoughts of trust & respect .. none of it ever existed.. it all rests in the heart till the very dark hour (could be maybe 30 years later) and it will explode.. well for younger generations, it only takes 55 hours to realise that.
So i thought it'd be good that marriage by itself or tying the knot should be made on a contractual basis. Since prenuptials are already in.... my as well right? We now practice equal rights.. the only place that doesnt practice this is most prolly somewhere at the end of the world.
Those love dovey shit.... kissing in the park.. holding hands in the mall.... arms on shoulders in the cinema...its all pure bullshit. it's just lust. period.
So let's just say you get married, sign a bloody contract for 10 years... or well.. 5 years.. and renew it like how we renew driving license. That will save the whole world from shit which is honestly not necessary. maybe. i dont know. By luck, it will most prolly create an awareness of what marriage is all about and both sides will take better consideration and appreciate marriage even more.
Now that i finished my emo-ness... Yesterday no electricity till almost 1sumthing am.... NABEH... not a good start for the weekend. Besides that, i just got my schedule in SG...also, not a good one.. will be jammed pack. On a different note.. shawn left the iron on in the house till 8 pm.. lucky the house didnt burn down.. if not i wouldnt be writting now.
ugh. triple sieness...
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