you and me everyday language

I was inspired to do this when i realise our daily conversations with close friends or family members are so different, some of my friends make it a humour and laugh about it so badly...

I hang out with some trannys/ah kua sometimes.. even have one or two colleagues who are those and they speak differently. We call them Perem Gat. Below are some of the interesting conversations (well interesting and funny as i think it is) that i have come upon..

*friend walked pass and nearly tripped and fell
Friend: mak ai tempelang cam sarah jessica parker
Me: WTF????

Walking towards the parked car to head for dinner*
Friend*skipping: Wei we is sit whose keret?
Me > already holding my car keys and walking towards my car totally understanding what she meant.

A funny looking/dressed person walking pass us
Friend: Wei you tengok itu lelak sangat kelak hor....
Me > laughing like some cow... not cos of the funny looking person..

Conversations with saigo
Me: Interested to go Japanese Buffet
Saigo: Who belan?
Me > -_-U

Taking a break from work
Me: bla bla bla bla bla and why you wearing the jacket over your waist? very cold meh?
Friend: shhhhh *whispers* dont tell anyone har... my seluar sudah PICAH(pronounced typically as PEE-CHAH aka chinese version, real spelling is PECAH) woh
Me > laughing like mad cow

Things are pretty much funny when you speak to a friend who was never fluent in bahasa and she will speak like the above. Funny happens when we all started using Yahoo Messenger and we were doing some illustration editting which have your fonts comes out in a rainbow manner. So this FRIEND that i referred to didnt really go that far to find out how she can get that done too... and on the other hand, my other colleague who is just sitting right opposite me refused to teach her. So she messaged me.....

Friend: Poh G (aka PIG...my nick name as it is) ....
Me: harr.. cho ham (yet another short cut for cho hamik/wassup)
Friend: you see this Irene.. she 'KEDEKUT ILMU' woh...
Me> F*cking laughing like a cow cos i never in a kezillion years used that word in my life
Me: *pretends .. why la?
Friend: She is to use the yahoo is colour colour woh..... she no teach me...
Me> and Irene (which was sitting opposite my cubicle) laughed...

We also use this magical word HIAP... now.. HIAP/KIAP is a good word that does not offend anyone.. so it's good to use that word. Examples of the word HIAP/KIAP which you can pair it with;

hiap - a mild version of a doofus
kiap - cantonese verbal version of hiap. There are some words which sounds better with kiap
Sor hiap - a mild version for sor hai

so basically you use it like this....

Friend :'why so you hiap wan'.... or 'why he so sor hiap wan.. '

in any event that you are in an irate scenario, use this;

'you very sor hiap wan u know.... wan me slap 9 u is it?'

There are other various ones too.. like;

in = interview
*e.g: 'wei you no go the in ar?'
ku jiao - lazy version of kuku jiao
*e.g: Me: Shawn why you scratching your ku jiao
Shawn: because itchieeeeeeeee
Me: ¬.¬
kuku jiao - adult version of penis
kuku jai - toddler version of penis
*e.g: Mum: Shawn if you dont wash your ku jiao properly, it will fly away
Shawn: My one wont fly because my one is kuku jai. Daddy's one can fly away cos his one is kuku jiao and got wings.........................¬.¬''
jiao - mild version of ku jiao
popot - toddler version of p*ssy
pots - mild adult version of p*ssy
tets/nans = tetek
Cho ham = Cho hamik/what is it(in hokkien)

So what's your secret word??? Bet some of you dont even understand most of it. Drop me a comment of which line and i'll tell you. :P